


Without Control

by Lazynoodle



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 23:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazynoodle/pseuds/Lazynoodle
Summary: Reader receives an emergency call. Kilgrve is in the hospital, he lost his powers.





	Without Control

**Author's Note:**

> An old fic of mine. Inspired by some other Kilgrave x reader fic (curse me, I don’t remember the author) because I thought that Kilgrave would react differently after losing his powers.

When a voice in the phone told you that Kilgrave was in the hospital, unconscious, the whole world stopped. You didn’t listen when they told you how or when he ended up there, you just thanked numbly for information and hung up. You rushed through the door, didn’t even bother closing them, it wasn’t your apartment anyway. You felt sick when you caught the cab and asked to drive you to the hospital as fast as possible. Being a bundle of nerves you almost threw up. Kilgrave was in the hospital. It couldn’t be. He must be alright, right? How could you live without him? He couldn’t…

The cab stopped. You paid the driver and ran through the front door. You felt surrealistic walking down the long white corridors passing all of these nurses and doctors. The last door…

You heard the sound of something smashing on a wall and inarticulate scream full of rage and pain. His scream. You saw a doctor storming out of the room, something hit the door. She told something to one of the nurses when you came closer.

“Doctor” you said out of breath. She looked at you reluctantly.

“Who the hell are you?” she snapped, then her exhausted face softened “Ah, probably his partner we’ve called?”

“Yeah” your voice hardened after hearing another cry. He was obviously having a tantrum, your panic started to change into grim determination. “What are you going to do with him?”

“We’ll give him some tranquilizer before he’ll hurt himself or our staff.” She sighed massaging the bridge of her nose.

“No need for tranquilizer. I’ll deal with this.” You declared looking at the door. “It’s not the first time.”

“I can’t let you do this.” Doctor protested weakly.

You looked at her when the nurse came back with the drug. The woman was fed up with this. It was late, she just wanted to go back home, get some sleep.

“Give me twenty minutes” you asked knowing how much he hates all kind of drugs affecting the nervous system, but the woman was still hesitating.

“Doctor, I got this” you insisted. Something in your face must have told her that she could trust you on this so she finally nodded.

You stormed into the room, one look was enough to tell you that you were right. Broken glass, some medical equipment lying everywhere, the drip bag slowly spilling out on the floor and Kilgrave – wasted and panting on the bed, the blood from ripped off cannula all over the sheets. You gasped, something was seriously wrong, you have never seen him in such a bad state before.

He jerked and looked at you with unseeing eyes. He turned on the bed, gripped something and swiped cursing bitterly, but you grabbed his shoulders.

“Kilgrave” you scolded him. “Calm down. You’re in a fucking hospital.”

He jerked convulsively and hissed painfully over already violated wounds. Your strong grip forced him to finally look at you. You felt the knot at the pit of your stomach again. He was a mess. The bruised, sweated face of the man you loved and the look of his watery, reddened eyes… It wasn’t just a blind anger. For a moment you could read him like a book. The despair, panic, devastation, fear.

“Let go of me” Kilgrave cried.

You didn’t. The understanding and disbelief stroke you like a lightning.

“You didn’t. You see? You didn’t.” the man whined hunching in your grip. “I lost it. I fucking lost it.”

You embraced him firmly. For a moment he wanted to push you away but then gave up.

“I lost it” he repeated sounding defeated and shuddered. “Can you imagine? What will I do? I’m nothing without it. No one.” His voice trembled. “It’s a part of my identity, I lost a crucial part of myself. And there’s nothing to replace it.”

He went silent and so did you. You couldn’t find the right words so you just sat there embracing him tightly. The time was passing slowly.

“Let go of me” he asked silently and you moved away. Kilgrave collapsed on the sheets avoiding your eyes.

“You have to let them cure you” you almost whispered with a hoarse voice.

“My injuries” he corrected you staring through the window.

“Yeah. And they need to clean this up. Will you let them do their job?” you asked softly and he nodded numbly. Suddenly the right words came to your head or at least – any words. You gulped looking for courage to say them.

“Kilgrave, let me tell you something” he turned his head to look at you as you continued.

You paused looking for any reaction but there was none. You shrugged trying to look confident. “And it’s not like I’m gonna leave you or something.”

He closed his eyes inhaling deeply. You sighed heavily and stood up to call the doctor when you heard your name. You turned to look at Kilgrave, your heart beating hard. He still wasn’t looking at you.

“Don’t leave me” he pleaded clearly embarrassed by his own words. “Ever.”

You smiled softly and placed your hand on his cheek making him look at you again. You leaned down to press a soft kiss on his forehead.

“I’m not going anywhere. Ever.” You whispered.


End file.
